Ur Back???

Today is a gorgeous day. I have fully skipped my yoga this morning and have headed for the porch to write as much as I can, drink a whole pot of coffee, and smoke a lot of cigarettes. Healthier, right? Well, I think it's healthier for my mind. I'll eat a green smoothie later... haha. I have always tried to write, but I've noticed when I sit down I tend to structure my words differently so I sound like a robot. No more. I also tend to hold back on what I really want to say even though this is MY BLOG. I want to be as honest as possible in this safe spot I have created for myself. So, I'm going to do what I do best, word vomit.

Boston has been completely beautiful to me. The friends I have met are friends that I would never find back home in Michigan, and for that I am so thankful. There are so many amazing places to go and eat food and places to see and do (that fyckin rhymes I'm so done). I have been to so many different fun events with super fun people. I have felt more freedom than I ever have in my whole entire life and honestly that scares the shit put of me. I feel myself going through that weird-ass transition from teenager to early adulthood and it really honestly sucks! I'm so broke, I feel lost and lonely. I miss my best friend, and all my other friends back in Michigan. Thankfully, I never take for granted the time I have for my Michigan friends. I have met some boys, but they all suck as usual. Now, this might sounds depressing. You might think, "wow auts, get ya shit together girl, wtf is up?????" but trust me, it's coming together. I have applied to my dream school, Parsons School of Design in New York. Deep down, I don't think I tried hard enough on my application but at least I did it. I have always had horrible anxiety with filling out college applications. I didn't apply for any colleges in high school because I felt even more lost and confused back then. Wow, high school was horrible. Back to my point, I think I am closer to finding out who I really am in the midst of this weird changing time. I feel creative, weirdly beautiful, and just plainly myself. I just got a new job and I start tomorrow. It's a cute cafe in Harvard Square and I'm excited to get back into a steady routine. I'm excited to get my shit together, finish the rest of my college essays (I'm applying to four more colleges), and just start saving money for my future whether that leaves me here for two more years or if it sends me to NYC or maybe even Vermont. I feel something big happening and I am scared but excited. I have a feeling my world is going to change soon, whether it's because something I do or someone else does. 

I love sitting on my porch. In the spring (if I'm still here... yikes), I want to get rid of the patio furniture and make this into a beautiful green space with vertical gardens and little pots of all sorts of plants. The weather is getting colder and thats starting to scare me. I hate winter. I tend to not like the person I become in the winter. Trust me, she's different. I have hope that these winters will be different. I have made a complete 180 from the person I was last winter. I was so sad, even more lost, and completely heartbroken. Oh, I also had dreadlocks. So you can probably see that I was kind of a mess. I started therapy last winter for all the bullshit happening in my life and here I am, well processed, mentally healthy, and in a completely different state away from the toxic people that used to be ever present in my life. Winter will be better, I will make it so. The leaves are still green outside next to my apartment building so if it wasn't cold, I would still think it's summer. My coffee is really good, my music is good, I'm still warm. Life is good. Life is crazy, but life is still good. 

Okay so that concludes the awkward update. I'm not going to apologize for not writing because I really needed to find myself when I moved here. I came here confused, and yes I am still confused but it's a better, more well thought out confused. I know what woman I want to be now and everyday I am working towards being the best version of that.

Ahhhh, more to come.... but for now here is a small collage of my favorite pictures currently.

Hey! Look what I'm wearing today!!! Also catch up!

 Hey! How r u??? Damn, this past month has been a blur. Moving into my new house, getting a job, working full time... it's been an endless circle. I have been so busy that I haven't really been able to write and I am not going to make a promise to write or some shit that I'm not going to follow up with.

 One thing that has been really catching my eye again is fashion. It is everywhere I look around here. I have always had a huge love for fashion. The first thing I ever said I wanted to do was to be a fashion designer! Today, I think that is a hell on earth job but I absolutely adore what other people come up with and the processes that go with it. Enough about that though, get to the point. I went thrifting and found some amazing pieces. One of them, I am wearing today!

 Check this out, silky as hell shirt. I have been looking for something like this for so long. Just enough transparency to give hints about your undergarments but not too much that it is see thorough, the perfect medium.  Honestly, I love it so much & silk shirts are about to be in... I feel it.

 Okay, off to get my hair dyed all one color again & test out the new film I got yesterday for my camera!

Until next time, go outside & have a beautiful day!


Some Favorites in July..

August. The hottest but defintiely one of my favorite months of the year. Those August summer nights are the best and as the end of the month gets a little chillier my heart explodes because that means fall is near...

But enough about that. This is about July. Crazy. July. 

With packing up my mothers house, my own room, shipping things out, working, and saying goodbye to everyone definitely took a lot of time out of my everyday schedule. I was so busy and now that I look at my favorites on my note pad, a lot of this month's favorites were music, simple makeup, and flowy clothing. Music to listen to when packing, simple makeup (because getting fully dolled up wasn't always time friendly), and clothing that was easy to slip on and both look and feel good in. 

I am going to start with what I love most, music.

I am completely on fire for Crystal Castles lately because my middle school dream is coming true... I am seeing them in concert finally. Lately, loving this group seems to be a bit controversial. If any of you are CC fans like me, I know you either hate or love the new group. When Alice Glass left, I for sure thought the overall vibe and sound of CC was going to be gone, who else could scream into the microphone while Ethan Kath made his amazing sounds???? Well I was far from wrong. Bring in Edith Frances. Frances has preserved the sound and whole aesthetic of CC and almost made it better in my eyes. So many people complain that "Glass was a major part of CC" and "Its just not the same with out her" but what people do not realize is that Kath is both the writer and producer of CC. The brains have stayed and the partnerships have changed and that is okay in my eyes. All in all, I am so excited for their fourth album coming out soon!

Please make sure to check out their newest two singles "Concrete" and "Char" on Youtube.

(Couldn't find the original source but these were found on this page)

Onto some more digital shit...

Okay so I always have time for shopping. I love shopping and I love new (to me) clothing but of course I am not blessed with the money I have to spend on the clothing I want. My goal is to be in my mid to late twenties shopping the brands I love, but of course I'm not there yet and I am totally fine with that because, Depop. I don't remember when, why, or how Depop was introduced into my life but I absolutely hate and love whoever or whatever showed me to it. I first found it when I got my first job. I was going money crazy, like almost every 16 year old does when they have no spending restrictions (mom and dad wtf) and have their first debit card and paycheck. I was buying random clothing and books left and right off of this beautiful app. Eventually, I realized my spending excursions needed to stop so I deleted the app for a good 10 months. Cut to this month and the app is now residing in my phone, tucked away in a folder. There is something so addicting about going through the app (which looks a lot like instagram, so it's very user friendly) and looking at all the beautiful clothing by beautiful brand at beautiful prices. Its beautiful. I am trying to limit my spending because there's this certain tattoo I want... but those beautiful acne jeans... ugh. You get my dilemma.

There is much too much acne studios, prada, miu miu, and beautiful vintage finds for my lil heart to handle.

Images from my recent likes. Follow me @babyauts!

Now, for my favorite and most proud section to talk about... makeup. This month I have really upgraded, like seriously. A couple months ago I kind of went through this revelation like, "why am I spending so much money on shitty makeup that I have to keep buying every couple weeks? Makeup should be an investment". After that realization, the only thing I have bought was a NYX lime green eye pencil for green eyebrows at a music festival. I was all about makeup this month and I am so excited to show you!

I seem to have been loving the golds and pinks lately as well! Really, all you need are these products to create a beautiful, simple, and light look. Let's start with my first eyeshadow palette ever, Modern Renaissance. The second my best friend sent me a picture of it on the Sephora site all I thought was "god damn I need that on my eyes right now". Before that moment, I had never really seen an eyeshadow palette that I felt like I needed. Most palettes are very hard for me (a eyeshadow novice) to work with. Not enough blending colors, too dark, too many different colors (ahem, beauty killer by racist Jeffree Star), and the list goes on and on. This though, is everything I have ever needed. Every single color works well with the others or can stand out by itself. Blending is a beautiful process I look forward to doing every time I do my makeup. Am I being too dramatic? No I am not because this is exactly how I feel using it. Complete art is all I feel, all is well.

Buy "Modern Renaissance" eyeshadow palette here for $42.

Oh my god when I use these next two products, I feel like the total embodiment of a french woman. The cult favorites. The duo. Whatever. Touche Eclat & Rouge Pur Couture in Le Rouge. The lightest but most effective coverage concealer I have used yet. It goes on with a little brush at the tip and then you use your finger or a brush to blend it in and honestly when I put this on my face instantly becomes brighter and all I need is a little powder and I'm all set! It has proven to be so much help during these hot days where I don't want a heavy foundation to clog up my already very sad pores. It has truly been a life saver and I will probably be buying this until the end of time. Now, for the lipstick. I knew I wanted to get a YSL lipstick. It's almost like a right of passage to be a woman. Okay maybe not that serious, but I feel like the most sophisticated women have their YSL lipstick on lock in their purse. Now I do too! I have always been a lover of red lips. The sophistication behind it is beautiful. your whole face could literally have no makeup on it but once you put that beautiful red on, you are the goddess. So naturally I got the purest red and like I said, it helps a lot with the hot days where I don't want a lot of makeup. I feel french and beautiful and in the end, thats really all you need.

Buy "Touche Eclat" concealer here for $42 and "Rouge Pur Couture" lipstick here for $37

Ah! Benefit you can never go wrong. As any beauty loving girl may know, Benefit just came out with a shit ton of new eyebrow products. A few weeks ago I painfully hacked off my eyebrows, made them semi-nice again, and decided to get a nice eyebrow pencil to motivate me to keep plucking my eyebrows as much as it hurts. I walked into Ulta and was looking a the famously known Brow Wiz by Anastasia Beverly Hills. I thought I couldn't go wrong so I asked an assistant to match my eyebrows and she started to talk about the new Benefit eyebrow line. She put it on my brows and wow. It was good. It stays on all day and I assure you, it does. When I got it I decided to do a little test on the wearability by going on a run and it stayed on!! Sweat and all, when I got home my eyebrows still were totally on fleek (I hate myself for using that term, but its true). The second product is a little bit of a surprise to me! I needed a new primer and as a highlighter whore, when I saw this primer "brightens" your face, I read no more and swiped it off the shelf. I am always looking for anything that will brighten, illuminate, highlight, or glow up my skin... seriously. Now it doesn't give the highlighter effect but I don't mind that at all because my face just looks glowy and healthy when I put it on! My face just looks fresh and I love it, plus like all benefit face products... the smell is amazing.

Buy the "Precisely, My Brow" pencil here for $24 and "That Gal" primer here for $29

Wow. Now I know how much I really spent on makeup this month and I feel like I am going to throw up! Oh well, my face thanks me for it. I hope you have had a beautiful July and a beautiful start to August. I will definitely be back here soon writing about who knows what.

Have a beautiful day and make sure to go outside and feel the sun.


Hi there!

Hey guys! Wow this is new. How has your week been? I swear mine has been a blur and it's only Wednesday. In two weeks and a day, I will be moving out to the Boston area to live with my dad and start over in a new city.

It has been a huge blur of flying out there, finding an apartment, job applications, flying back to Michigan, boxes of my shit everywhere, uncertainty.. I just want to be settled in my new city.

I feel so grown up and while thinking about how I feel so grown up, I decided to make a blog (I don't know how those two correlate but I guess in my mind they do)! So here is to new beginnings, my future ramblings, and hopefully friends I make along the way!

Much love,

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